Be Cool And Judge Things Prematurely

You know how they say you never judge a book by it's cover? That's lame. I can judge the shit out of something. I judge stuff all day long and I'm only wrong, maybe 58% of the time. Probably less than that, I'm not 100% sure because I judged that calculators are shitty and so is calculating percentages by hand. (Sometimes judging cause for mathematical errors. Live with it.) Whenever I see someting I judge it. I judge shit like it's going out of style. That's how I roll. I judge fruit, pornographic movies, books, and people all by their covers and you should too. I'll give you some examples:

Fruit:



I judge that this fruit is delicious. (Except for those brown baby potato looking things. What are those? Probably some foreign shitty fruit like Asian Pears or something. Only American fruit is worth a shit. Matter of fact, if I see someone eating foreign fruit I judge that they are a dipshit.)

Books:



I judge that this book is shitty and I didn't have to try that hard. I maybe used 40% of my judging capabilities. Judging books is probably the easiest of things to judge contrary to popular belief.

Pornagraphic Movies:

Just by looking at this DVD cover I judge that this movie is probably really really shitty:



But on the contrary, by this cover I judge that this movie probably rocks the shit:



Who knows what kind of crazy hi-jinks Screech will get into here. I think it's safe to say he's probably not playing any chess or leaving subliminal messages in music cassettes though. (I judge that Saved By The Bell still kicks ass.)

People:

I judge that this guy is a douche .



I also judge that he listens to Rammstein, secretly hates minorities, has a sweet black trenchcoat, writes in a journal about the banality of mankind, and makes love to men. What a douche. Who wears a beanie cap, black jeans, and no shirt? It's like it's really cold in his house except from about 3 feet off the ground to 5 feet off the ground. Like there is a chest high warm front that swepth through his house right before he took this picture. I love the idea of some guy sitting around the house thinking to himself, "You know what would be totally sweet? If I sent my internet girlfriend a picture of myself in black and white to show that I'm artsy. I should probably take off my shirt and make it kinda dark to accentuate my bad ass body. Oh, and I should wear a beanie. Yeah. That's hot." Fag.

On the other hand...

Here I judge that someone is about to get their shit wrecked, seriously. This picture was actually taken as Rambo was waiting for his niece to get off a school bus. I judge that Rambo rocks tits all day, every day.

Want me to judge you? Email me at: Ineedvalidation@hotmail.com