Pacquiao vs De La Hoya Odds

Yes that's right I've finally sold out. I'm blogging about boxing also known as the sweet science, perhaps the sweetest science of them all. It doesn't get much lower than this.

But before I start a quick update on the current Pacquiao vs De La Hoya odds. As it stands Manny Pacquiao remains the underdog at Bookmaker. He is listed at +165 while De La Hoya is the short priced favorite at -195.

The showdown between Oscar De La Hoya and world champion midget icon Manny Pacquiao is being billed as the fight of the year.

The two combatants will meet at welterweight in the richest fight in boxing history. Many experts like myself have already dismissed this bout as farce due to De La Hoya's enormous size advantage.

At 35 "The Golden Boy" has achieved more than he could have ever dreamed of.
De La Hoya is happily married and just recently was awarded a bronze statue in front of the Staples Center in his hometown of Los Angeles. He really doesn't have much more to prove. However beating a man half his size would surely silence even his harshest critics.

When these two men enter the ring this Saturday it wont be about it titles, records or belts. It will about something much more important than that, cash money.

I cant see this bout going the distance. De La Hoya will take control early and finish it before the 6th. However should De La Hoya loose surely the loss would enter the boxing history books as the biggest embarrassment in living memory.

It's science and not at all racist. There are just some things that Mexican guys are better at than white and Asian guys, and boxing happens to be high on the list. (Other things on the list include: looking cool with shaved heads, being intimidating, doing complicated handshakes without looking lame, and being bad fathers.) I know it, you know it and so do the bookmakers.

If you need any other evidence to convince you to click De La Hoya's name when you're gambling your mortgage away at your bookmaker, know this: Oscar de la Hoya has been advising Ricky Hatton. Yeah, that's right. I mean, it makes perfect sense. Having Oscar De La Hoya give you advice on how to beat Mayweather is like having Rex Grossman give you advice on how to be a successful NFL quarterback.

Subtle Bigotry Is Funny

Racism is cool.

The Deliverance Dillema

Here's a totally hypothetical question that I have not been wrestling with this since around mid-September: Let's say there was a guy -we'll call him Lyston- and Lyston had never seen Deliverance before a few months ago. (Whatever, he wasn't born in the '70s. And while we're on the subject, Lyston's never seen Deerhunter either. Old movies are wack and so is your face.) So when Lyston saw that Deliverance was going to be on TV, he decided to watch it.

Now, the reason that he wanted to watch the movie was not because of some pop-cultural altruism or anything lame like that; he wanted to watch the movie because he knew that there was a scene where a dude rapes another one. Lyston decided in advance that this would be the ultimate barometer of his gayness. If he watched it and felt even mildly interested in what was going on, then he would jump wholeheartedly into the homosexual lifestyle --he'd go buy the latest Ne-Yo CD, he'd start putting penises in his mouth, he'd start wearing a leather newsboy hat, the whole shabang. (That list, by the way, is actually cut and pasted straight from Super Gay dot com and is in order of most gay to least gay. Yes, buying a Ne-Yo CD is inherently more gay than having anal sex.)

So the movie starts and he's watching --remember, this is a hypothetical-- and watching and watching and watching. The rape scene doesn't happen until a good hour and fifteen minutes or so into the movie (which, Lyston would like to mention, was an incredibly boring hour and fifteen minutes because, in case you hdadn't heard, old movies are wack). So he just sat there like a moron, waiting.

Finally, after far too much meandering and not near enough raping, the scene takes place and he's got nothing going on. It isn't disgusting to see, Lyston just wasn't interested in it. Cool, he thought, I'm not gay. Then about two hours after the movie it hit him: He just spent about an hour and a half sitting through a horribly boring movie that he would have otherwise not watched for the sole purpose of wanting to see one man rape another. Doesn't that make him even more gay than I if I had accidentally wandered across the aforementioned scene and been slightly aroused? Isn't that the the type of unconscious urge that actually drives gay and not some paper stereotype? In essence, did he just haphazardly prove that he is far gayer than previously assumed?

Australians Are Dumb

I received this email this morning. I sincerely wish I was making this up. But I'm not. Because Australia is full of Dumb Shits. Literally.

Hello mr listons. I like to red your blogs , they are very humoros alot. . here i see you having problems with writing for the blog I have come from austrlia from Iran 2 years after . When i come i like football soccer too much . it was my number 1 of sport but then i see anther sport is afl in australia . this sport very exciting and i love now more for soccer ! i think mr liston you coud say how good is this sport for USA for your blog yes. i heve put links for video for youtube . i hope is very good for you . -Mirvat bektash http://www.youtube.com/user/WWENani09



At first I thought it was a joke, but then I checked my Statcounter and saw that I had one received precisely one hit from Australia. Turns out, the guy is from a place called DumbShit, Ridge, Australia. See, it's right here on their map so you know I'm not making it up:


Who knew?

Fucking Write Something

I had a few emails in my inbox again this morning politely requesting that I write something. Here's one:

"Fucking write something fucking new you fucking lazy fucking fucker!
And don't fucking gimme that shit about fucking having to work to feed your family ,
I'm bored and I think that definitely should take precedence over anthing else you have going on.

Troyza

Anyone that can use "fuck" or a derivative of "fuck" at least 5 times in the first sentence of an email is aces in my book.

-L

Holy Shit

Okay, a few months ago I started a wicked sweet gang to help people get all the respect. It's probably the most intimidating gang you ever heard of. Any way, some dude totally schooled me on proper gang ways. He's got more than fifty people in his gang so I tend to agree with him. Here's his super rad, unedited comment that he sent me:


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dude u blazing shit up right now? Who the fuck would be scared of a bunch of white momma boys1:Calculator watch wtf is that? hey boys instead of our normal dealings today were going to do some math *everyone elsë* FUCK YEA LETS ALL LEARN.a dragon ball z shirt or flame what r you like a fucking 4 year old umm yea i got flame casue itll make me go faster duh. AND ROLLER SCATES you are real fucekd up you dont settel disagreements with a race down a hill fucking retard you fight it out. Also who came up with thsoe names your fucking sister yea umm i think trantuals are gross an just ewwww *you* awsome thts our name..... also if you name yourselfs the scorps your guna get fucking manhunted by the red scorpian gang. Let me give you a sugestion that can fix all of this: clothing:iced out watch,baggy jeans or torn jeans torn jeans if u woried bout heat, big big shirt preferbly cheap that way when u fiting it dont matter if you
get blood on it or it gets ripped,rings mroe rings more respect, belt w a big belt buckel, and dc skate shoes there light enough to ran fast in an heavy enough to kick w. dont get bling tho casue i no your a poser but this is one guy trying to help also im starting a gang that has 15 peeps from vc antoehr 15 from surrey and 25 in whiterock so we got liek 55 peeps but thats not even close to enouhg if you want to be in a real one without soem faggsih white boy poser add
me at canadian-blood@hotmail.com i no it sounds white but its all i could coem up w at teh tiem think bout it peeps an i will toaight peace

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Clearly, he is a gang expert and I'm siked to have some in my gang who's not a total homo and is the real deal, Phil. He seems to have some really sound advice. I've emailed him for help on starting my gang back up. AARRGGGHGHHH!! I'm a gang!

Love,

Liston

It Is What It Is

I've got two phones like a drug dealer.

Love,

Liston